Category Archives: Life or Something Like It

I’ve been told countless times since I began this project that I’ve taken on too much ownership of my son’s behavior and the eventual outcome of his life. That I somehow needlessly continue to blame myself for his life’s conclusion and the missteps along his way. I’ve been told over and over to lay this burden down.

In all earnestness I am compelled to offer that this is the certain wisdom of friends and family from the outside looking in, and the wisdom is not lost on me. It is not merely well meaning; rather, it is well-founded. Advice that should be heeded.

The end having been realized, would’ves, could’ves, and should’ves no longer matter. The end is the same and no afterthought can change it. However, as an insider looking out I ask in equal earnest how do I lay down such a thing? Continue reading →

Tim’s addiction notwithstanding, he was so compassionate and tender when the demons would rest. It would, however, be to whitewash his terrible behavior when they would awaken, to refuse the acknowledgement of how he put the who of his true self aside, as addicts inevitably do.

The story is tired and worn. The addict, driven by demons that manifest anger wrought from anguish and a sense of misunderstanding by friends and family, often lashes out at them. In the aftermath, he concerns himself with the destruction brought by his own hand and desperately tries to repair the damage that confronts him when the harsh reality of sobriety beckons. Continue reading →

As I contemplate the draw of the Maelstrom and the descent of my family into the angry vortex of my son’s addiction, I contemplate more than anything the denial of truth addiction foments. The worst parts of addiction are the lies.

When we think of lies we tend to imagine them in individual terms, utterances from human lips intended to deceive. But intention has no place in the world of the addict. This thing that compels the human to act against his will of self-preservation obliterates any awareness of truth or reality.

The sense of what is true becomes lost in a sea non-truths that refuse to comport with reality. In my experience, the very sense of reality itself ceases to exist in the addict and how he deals with everyone around him. He ceases to understand what is real or imagined and things once known as certain can be transformed into things that no one but the addict recognizes. Continue reading →