“There is nothing a man can do to liberate himself if his time of divine liberation has not come. But when the time comes, nothing can stop it.”
– Unknown
Liberty and safety are often confused. We often think that with the advent of one we somehow miraculously gain the other. That, with the acquisition of liberty, we can somehow provide for our own security and that we are only truly safe when we have the freedom to live our lives without the interference of tyranny.
On this day, July 4th, Americans celebrate so much, as well we should. It isn’t so much that we invented democracy as we introduced the notion of the right to self-determination. And this right, while paramount in the American mindset, comes at a cost we frequently overlook.
I don’t recall the first time I saw a fireworks display on Independence Day, but I do recall the way I felt as a child when my parents took me to these events. In my earliest memory I linked the excitement of the orchestrated colors and the crackle of bombshells, along with the bright flash-bang of the mortars with the words from the poem that became our National Anthem.
“And the rocket’s red glare, the bombs bursting in air.
Gave proof through the night, that our flag was still there.”
To many, those words are merely that and nothing more; mere words. To me it was my first notion of demanding this thing we call liberty and taking it—by force if necessary. But what was missing from these adolescent ideals was the notion of the potential cost such conflicts engender.
We sometimes overlook the question “What will you do with freedom?” And because we fail to ask the question, we are often surprised by the outcome when we have tried to give that freedom to others in the course of the many wars we’ve fought in her name.
Unlike my own life experience, I recall with crystal clarity the first time I took my son to a fireworks display. He was about three, and I watched vicariously through his eyes the bright splashes of color on the blue-black canvass of the night sky and the “boom” he imitated with each burst. My own adolescent ideas notwithstanding, I imagined something more innocent for him.
I imagined he saw the pyrotechnic bursts as nothing more than a two dimensional illustration of an artist’s craft. A momentary eruption of light and splatter that entertained him as he giggled. But then there was the prelude to the Grand Finale: mortars. Dozens of flashes, each followed by a deafening crack, buffered by a brief delay.
Instinctively, I reached for him and pulled him onto my lap. I wanted him to feel safe. I wanted him to know that, in that moment, I would always be there for him. That I would always be there to protect him from everything the world would throw his way.
I remember holding him tightly as he pointed to the bright flashes of light that momentarily illuminated the sky, blue-white, like heat lightening against the nighttime sky of summer. I tenderly whispered in his ear, “daddy’s here”—but the vanity of my comment was unknown to me until much later. Hubris ruled the day. The force of my presence, whether his first fireworks display or in his daily life, ultimately, could not shield him from from what he would choose to do with freedom.
Ultimately, I was only able to protect him for a short while. In the end, he—like each of us—chose his destiny. A destiny that I often regret—but a regret I have come to believe is misplaced.
I was sitting with a friend, Adi, some time ago. We were commiserating about Tim, my relationship with him, the life choices he made, and, ultimately, his demise.
“Guy, your son was amazing.”
“I think so, but what do you mean—exactly?”
“Well, he made mistakes. But he did what all of us do. He paid the price for them, turned his life around, and was determined to redeem himself. He was determined to do right by you and his family and he went out on a high note.”
He went out on a high note. That’s what he did with freedom. He ultimately chose to embrace life as we all should. To be decent and kind and to give into the lives of others.
I can think of no better way to contemplate the meaning of the pyrotechnic display you will no-doubt witness tonight as we commemorate the notion of liberty won by the determination of individuals who pledged their lives, fortunes, and sacred honor.
Happy Independence Day.
Guy-o
