I’ve devoted more copy than I care to admit to the notion of spending time. Every moment now seems so precious, and I am continually reminded by my inner voice that it’s family who deserves that currency, whether biological or adopted.
As such, I was spending that time with my daughters by way of phone calls one evening. During the conversation with my youngest daughter, Ashley, I spontaneously extended an invitation. Continue reading
Filed under Life or Something Like It, Parenting
It now occurs to me that, in all of these words so far, as I try to tell my son’s story, I’ve mentioned precious few words regarding my other two children. I was once counseled in the aftermath of Tim’s accident not to forget about my two children who remain.
Regarding the loss of a child, a seductive elixir asserts itself in which the focus tends to be on the one who left and to disregard the ones who remain. The pain of that loss can blind us to many things. The day-to-day difficulties our friends continue to experience. Things at work that require our attention. The needs of our spouses. But the most important potential casualty is that of children left behind who experience their own brand of grief.
Filed under Life or Something Like It, Parenting
Standing in my ex-wife’s kitchen, talking with relatives, I thought to myself how we hadn’t all been together as a family in 20 years. There was a time when we had been close. Two brothers, two sisters, three children, and 14 nieces and nephews. At one time this had been my tribe.
In most cases, family is never not family but, as time passes, family is sometimes supplanted by surrogates. Ultimately we choose whether to adopt and to be adopted by others based on circumstance rather than blood. All of us but one left the sleepy berg of Mineral Wells and, in a functional sense, lost track of each other. We haphazardly kept in touch by phone on holidays and sporadically by social media. In the process, we each adopted surrogates who filled the gap.
Filed under Life or Something Like It, Parenting
